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Ruin to Redirection
Steve Schrock

04-03-20

How did I end up here? I never saw this coming. I let out a broken cry as a tear runs down my cheek. I thought things were finally going better… but I never expected this. Now my life will be forever changed. The realization that I can’t go back to the way it was before. If only I hadn’t been so reckless. If only I would of taken a moment and considered things; The ramifications of my action or of my inaction. What if there was something I could of done different, done more, done less. I should of seen this coming. Why was I so blind? I should of never been there or put myself in that situation. If only I could go back in time and change things. If only…

I let out a heavy sigh as the memory still fresh and vivid in my mind torments me. And it wasn’t even anything I had any control over, the loss so painful I fear I will never recover. My life forever altered either by me or the decision of another or just a tragedy beyond anyone’s control. I am in utter ruin and I will never be the same. My life forever altered by that one moment in time. If only…

There is no way out for me, no escaping this. If I could just stop the pain. I feel paralyzed in this chaos of my shattered self, the echo of a faded memory. The former self that I no longer am. This new me that I do not recognize. Where is my escape? I am tired of hurting. I am tired of the pain. I am just tired. Where is my way out of all this chaos that I find myself in. I don’t know where to turn or what to do. I just want a way out…

But once again I am knocked down by the realization that this isn’t just a dream, or some fairy tale offering a happy ending. But rather a story of loss, of betrayal, of regret and lonely desperation. And in my search for escape I have traveled down many roads that have only lead to more suffering as my addictions offer little comfort, and the bottle a mockery only propelling me deeper into isolation and depression. The search for love only to be left with a broken heart. This empty house a painful reminder of my squandered existence. I just want a way out…

But all of my efforts to escape this ruin have only left me more trapped than I was before. In my search for freedom I found bondage. So what am I to do? All my efforts to find a way out of my suffering have only led to more suffering. Like some cosmic twisted joke. I keep trying to run my way out…

In my solitude of depression and the weight of this ruin I must admit that this isn’t working. My efforts to find a way out only cause more pain. Where can I go? I looked down but it only furthers my pain. I looked up to the sky in search for a reason, but only hear the echoes of the endless void of time and space.

Is this just my fate? There has to be something I can do? Somewhere I can turn? Someone to redirect my course?…if I could just get through this. Oh wait…through this? I’ve been so preoccupied with trying to find a way out of this that I never considered going through it. Is that even possible? Is working through it the way out of it? That seams scary. That sounds like a lot of work. It Sounds Painful. I don’t know… Is there anyone that can show me a way through this? And if so, Who? And where do I turn to go though?

Going though it is not an easy decision to come to. Will it be easy? No. Will it be painful at times? Yes. But have you hurt long enough that you are willing to take a chance? You already took a chance on a lot of other things that haven’t worked. Are you willing to reach out and say that you can’t do it on your own? And that you need some redirection?

Are you willing to step out in faith to believe in these two truths?

1. That Christ is above all things and holds all things together. You can rely on His sovereignty, realizing that He is in control.

Everything was created through him and for him. He existed before anything else, and he holds all creation together.
Col. 1:16b-17 NLT

2. Trust Christ to work through you as you trust that through Christ, He will lead you through this to victory.

Can anything ever separate us from Christ’s love? Does it mean he no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or hungry, or destitute, or in danger, or threatened with death? No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us.
Romans 8:35, 37 NLT

Will you allow Christ to transform your ruin to redirection as you work though this to victory? There is healing in the journey.

Blessings to you!

In Defense of Sin
Steve Schrock

We go through life without a thought to sin. Oh we know about it. I’m sure at one point in time we heard it mentioned and we formed a concept about it as to what we think it means. And now days, if anyone even mentions the word “sin” our wall goes up and we immediately take offense.

“Who are you to judge me?”, “Before you get on me about sin, doesn’t the Bible say you aren’t supposed to judge others?”, or “You have no right to say anything to me! Only God can judge me!”

It seams that even more so in recent years, we have become so good at defending our sin that we can and do justify almost anything. Because, if I can form a valid defense or justifiable reason for my behavior, then I am not guilty because I didn’t do anything wrong. And if I didn’t do anything wrong then I didn’t sin. And if I didn’t sin, then I don’t need to be saved. Problem solved! Or is it?

And you would be correct to say that only God can judge you. But the issue with that is that He already has.

He who believes in Him is not judged; he who does not believe has been judged already, because he has not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God. This is the judgment, that the Light has come into the world, and men loved the darkness rather than the Light, for their deeds were evil. For everyone who does evil hates the Light, and does not come to the Light for fear that his deeds will be exposed.(John 3:18-20 NASB)

No one wants their deeds exposed. I know I don’t! And it is a fearful thing to be exposed. We don’t know what would happen if we were vulnerable and open enough to admit our guilt to someone. So what would happen if I were to be open with myself and before God?

For You, Lord, are good, and ready to forgive,
And abundant in loving kindness to all who call upon You. (Psalm 86:5 NASB)

And maybe through no fault of our own, I think a lot of us have a misunderstanding of the nature of God. We see this angry old man in the sky just waiting to throw us into hell if we are not perfect. But that is not the story. Is it a fearful thing to be vulnerable and open? Yes. But there is no reason to fear someone who freely offers forgiveness and restoration.

So the question begs, How bad do you want your healing? Are you tired of always feeling like to have to defend yourself?

Growth does not come without first being honest with yourself.
What is step 1 in recovery? We admit we are powerless and that our lives have become unmanageable.

If you want to take a journey to faith, and healing, and wholeness, this is where you start. Start by being honest with yourself and before your Creator.